Thought 4 the day

Thursday, 29 March 2007

Annual Appraisal

It's staff appraisal time here at T4td. That means that our staff of appraisal experts will shortly calling upon you at an unexpected time of the day (or night) to let you know how you're doing.

Don't worry - they're professionals. The process will be almost painless and if there is any damage to your property, or your body, or your family, your pets, your neighbours, or your sanity - you will be appropriately billed for the inconvenience that you've caused us.

In the meantime, I'd like to give a few of you the opportunity of what our Transatlantic customers refer to as a 'heads up'. This is, in the circumstances, and unfortunately for some of you, a rather apposite turn of phrase.

Martin - you have been a reasonable T4td customer for most of the time, but our tracking software indicates that yesterday, whilst your wife was out shopping, you spent a full 47 minutes watching videos of fat people falling over. Shape up Martin. Oh, and by the way - your wife wasn't shopping, but spent the afternoon over at your old friend Frank's house, where they drank coffee, played cards and had a conversation. Sorry to break this to you, but you asked for it. In future, stick with T4td.

Jane - Oh dear. Where were you last week Jane? We'll tell you where shall we? You were on holiday in the Bahamas weren't you Jane? You wanted to 'Get away from it all' apparently. You didn't even take your laptop. And did you ask us for permission? Well we haven't seen forms 379.8a and 97837.27b. Jane, Jane, Jane. With that attitude, you'll never get anywhere. T4td is an attitude, it's a lifestyle choice. All we can say is, that you'd better try and catch up with the others. Just remember Jane, that the T4td end of term tests will soon be upon us.

Let these examples be reminder to the rest of you.

Time spent at T4td is never wasted. Time spent away from T4td is chargeable.

Now. Let's get back to normal. Sorry to be so harsh.

Today's thought is:

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as a tax refund.

Join us tomorrow for Celebrity Friday.

T4td Corp.
Watching, always watching.

No comments: