Thought 4 the day

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

Increase Your Watercooler Power

Previously on Increase Your Watercooler Power...
If you're a newcomer, this link will help you catch up.

Because there will be a test afterwards.

This week, we will look at the language of appraisals and how to interpret them.

The real meanings of each phrase are given in italics.

  • How do you think you're doing?
  • You have absolutely no idea of the amount of trouble you're in have you?

  • What do you regard as your weaknesses?
  • I know exactly what your weaknesses are, but just for fun, see how many of them you can guess. It should be easy - it's a LONG list.

  • What have been your most significant achievements this year?
  • And no, I'm not referring to the fact that you hold the office record for most time spent downloading porn.

  • What opportunities for professional development could we offer you?
  • Because it would be nice if you could do at least ONE damn thing properly.

  • Where do you see yourself in a year's time?
  • And if you if you even THINK about saying, 'In your job Sir,' I won't be responsible for my actions.

  • What do you hope to achieve in the future?
  • And by 'future' I mean the next hour or so, because after that, I have a vision of you holding your personal possessions in a cardboard box.

We trust that this small selection will assist you in your future appraisals - if you make it that far.

Thinking outside the envelope - to avoid the cost of a stamp.

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