Increase Your Watercooler Power

Previously on Increase Your Watercooler Power...
If you're a newcomer, this link will help you catch up.

Because there will be a test afterwards.

This week, we will look at the language of appraisals and how to interpret them.

The real meanings of each phrase are given in italics.

• How do you think you're doing?

• You have absolutely no idea of the amount of trouble you're in have you?

• What do you regard as your weaknesses?

• I know exactly what your weaknesses are, but just for fun, see how many of them you can guess. It should be easy - it's a LONG list.
  

• What have been your most significant achievements this year?
• And no, I'm not referring to the fact that you hold the office record for most time spent downloading porn.

• What opportunities for professional development could we offer you?

• Because it would be nice if you could do at least ONE damn thing properly.

• Where do you see yourself in a year's time?
• And if you if you even THINK about saying, 'In your job Sir,' I won't be responsible for my actions.

• What do you hope to achieve in the future?
• And by 'future' I mean the next hour or so, because after that, I have a vision of you holding your personal possessions in a cardboard box.
  

We trust that this small selection will assist you in your future appraisals - if you make it that far.

Sincerely,
T4td
Thinking outside the envelope - to avoid the cost of a stamp.