Offences

If thy neighbour offends thee, buy each of his children a drum.

It's a Japanese proverb apparently, so it must be true. Although, having proposed that subtle way of dealing with their neighbours, they then went on to invent gunpowder. There must be a lesson for the US Government in there somewhere.

Of course, the proverb does not specify what the drum you give to your neighbours' children should contain. We'd recommend something pharmaceutical in nature. They'll be sure to need some, and you'll be saving them the trouble of breaking into your house, stealing your consumer electronics and selling them, in order to pay for it.

Sincerely,
T4td Corp.
We're behind you.