Almost Topical Tuesday

Millions are spent on surveillance technology. Satellites, we are told, can focus on a cigarette packet. So those cigarettes had better watch what they're doing. Any nonsense from them and GW may declare a war on tobacco. Which, now I think about it, would make a lot of sense. Which kills more in a year- cigarettes or terrorist bombs?

Back to the topical point.

We have this awesome technology. It's fantastic. But when you need it for something, say - just for the hell of it - to tell you whether a boat is in Iraqi waters, or whether it's intruding somewhere that just might, possibly spark an international incident, it just doesn't seem to be any damn use. Similarly, it didn't locate the WMD. Or rather it did, but then it couldn't remember where they were. Which, to be fair, is the sort of thing I do with my car keys all the time.

'Ah!' They say. 'It doesn't work like that.'

'OK,' we reply, 'how does it work?'

'Oh no!' they cry, 'we can't tell you that. It's all terribly secret. And if we tell you, the baddies will find out.'

'But surely,' we choke, 'showing how good this stuff is, would be a fantastic deterrent?'

'Not saying. And anyway, it's my satellite and I've got to go in for my tea.'

Hmmm. I'm reminded of a certain emperor that turned out to be naked in front of the whole town and ended his days in therapy.

So really, it comes down to this. Which navy do you trust more?. Imagine you had to be rescued from the middle of a vast ocean. Which one would you want looking for you?

The Royal Navy - professionally trained, highly motivated, skilled and disciplined?

Or the Iranian Navy - a waterborne version of the Keystone Cops?

If only, just for once, governments would show a little solidarity with the men and women they send to risk their lives for their country.

Sincerely,
T4td.
We're watching.

Look out! That cigarette packet moved!