Warming to the Idea

Global Warming - not necessarily a bad thing.

Simply take advantage of the warmer weather by turning your heating down. That way you'll use less energy, emit less CO2, and the whole thing will eventually even out.

Alternatively, and this is our preferred course of action, simply pick any high inland location, say 20 miles from the coast, and start building beachfront properties. Similarly, you could purchase an unwanted, barren and blighted northern area and start planting pineapple trees. Our Scottish banana plantation is well underway. The added advantage is that it's one in the eye for those people who keep moaning about 'foodmiles'.

And anyway, who made more money last year, Exon Mobil or that guy who cycles to work everyday at the organic healthfood shop?

Exactly.

So we say, OK to CO2.

CO2 - if it's good enough for the plants to breathe, it's good enough for us.

CO2 - good for business.

Sincerely,
T4td Corp.
Our Mission is Emission.

Please note: We're now taking advance orders for our Newfoundland Chablis.
Residents on major floodplains can take advantage of our special offer - buy a case of wine, get a free inflatable life raft (pump available at extra cost).